My own personal inauguration...

So I decided I needed a way to vent some of my boredom and frustration, and my currently unfulfilled need to write and produce... something. Thus... this.

I began this post writing about how a lot of the movies I see are essentially bullshit filler, but I started getting so overwhelmed with trying to point out all the things that piss me off, that I had to start over. This is take two. I've decided to focus on one facet of films that consistently make me cringe.

That facet is the seemingly unkillable suckhole that is the Chick Flick.

These things are the bastard in-bred second cousins of the romantic comedies from years past.

Romantic comedies used to star the biggest actors and actresses of the time, were generally well written, and used word-play as foreplay. Names like Katherine Hepburn, Carey Grant, James Stewart were regularly above the title. Now most of these movies are the bastions of actresses who aren't getting dramatic work anymore (I'm looking at you Sandra Bullock) or never had the ability to actually act (that means you Jessica Alba).

Here's the link to the Rotten Tomatoes list of the all time best reviewed Romantic Comedies:
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/guides/best_romantic_comedies/
There are a few modern movies, and most of them were made by Judd Apatow. That says something, but I'm not quite sure what...

If you look at the movies coming out today, there tend to be two types. Ones based on barely readable chick-lit like The Devil Wears Prada, or the new suckfest on the horizon Confessions of a Shopaholic. The other can all be classified as "Attempts to recapture the magic of When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle". Both blow. Badly.

Irrational plot? Check
Improbably handsome and sensitive man? Check.
A main character who claims to be confident but is secretly insecure and needs someone to see them for who they are on the inside? Check.
Throw in a couple of bullshit physical comedy stunts, generally involving the girl tripping over something and the male lead catching her? Check.
Chatty, cynical best-friend who is eventually won over? Check.
Utter lack of any redeemable quality? Check.
The ability to kill brain cells at a rate comparable to crystal meth? You bet.
An even shittier sequel in the pipeline? Coming Soon!

We'd be better off using the film to start a bonfire to roast weenies and watch fantastic films like Lethal Weapon, Rambo, any Chuck Norris, Steven Seagal, Schwarzennegger, or Stallone film...